Scenes We'd Like To See: Series 11, Episode 11
The following is a guide to the Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions made in the eleventh episode of the eleventh series. Key * HD '- Hugh Dennis * '''CA '- Chris Addison * 'GD '- Gary Delaney * 'AP '- Andy Parsons * 'EB '- Ed Byrne * 'AC '- Alun Cochrane Topics Unlikely Things for a Sports Commentator to Say 'CA '- They think it's all over, but Wayne Rooney is telling his hair surgeons that they've missed a bit! 'HD '- So just two laps to go,and then these dancers from Stringfellows will be heading home for the night. 'GD '- Tragedy strikes the Winter Olympics as the ski jumping is accidentally held next to a clay pigeon shoot. 'EB '- And that's a 200 yard drive. Colin Montgomery there, too lazy to walk to get the paper. 'HD '- Well, with 200 meters to go, he is on the shoulder of the Ethiopian. I don't know if it's legal for him to be there, but it'll slow him down a bit. 'AP '- Lewis Hamilton still leads, but there's trouble up ahead as Dick Dastardly and Muttley are digging a hole under turn 17. 'CA '- She can see the line now, she can see the line! She's definitely pregnant! 'EB '- Welcome back to the women's shot-put, here's the Lithuanian. My, what a pretty little thing. 'HD '- Well, let's go to Epsom for the 2:30, there are 16 runners. Everyone else is riding a horse, what a race this is going to be. 'AC '- And after Andy Murray's recent appearance on television's Mock the Week, onto center court, we see the lolloping frame of Dara O' Briain. '''GD - And that's an incredible right hook there from Abu Hamza. AP - So, Boris Johnson, are you enjoying the Olympics? Oh, I'm terribly sorry. Clare Balding, are you enjoying the Olympics? AC '''- And there was some confusion earlier on center court when Andy Murray thought he'd signed one of those giant novelty tennis balls, and it turned out to be a fat kid's face with jaundice. '''CA - And the England team sticking with the classic 4-4-2 formation. This really is the most organised orgy I have ever seen. GD '- And Serena Williams remains unseeded for a second year. I can't help but thinking a little lippy and push-up bra. Bad Things to Say at a Job Interview '''EB '- What do I think of nepotism? That-that's a good question, dad. Umm. 'HD '- I served for 10 years in Afghanistan. I was in the Taliban. '''AP - I like to see myself as a people person, although some people have called me a trafficker. GD '''- So I'm just checking, you definitely, definitely, definitely don't do a CRB check? '''EB - You ask a lot of questions. CA - Sorry, could you repeat the question? My ankle bracelet's beeping really loudly. HD '- Well, I am a fully qualified geography teacher and... The school's next door, is it? '''EB '- If we were to take you on as an accountant, how do you think you'd cope with all the extra fanny you'd be getting. '''AP - Do I like jogging? Oh, I thought you said "Do I like dogging?" Um, the answer's still yes! GD '- You've demonstrated a bad attitude, inability to listen, and complete lack of interest in others. Welcome to Ryanair's customer service team! '''AC '- Why do I want to be a vet? Ketamine. 'CA '- Well they gave me a two-two at university, so I just thought I'd wear it to the interview. 'EB ' - Well, I'd say my three strongest points are attention to detail, a determination to see things through, yadda yadda yadda. 'HD '- Yes, I think I would be the perfect candidate-idate-idate-idate to make the platform announce-announce-announce. 'CA '- Why do I want to join the army? (camp voice) I just love a man in uniform! '''AP - What would I do if I won the lottery? Tell you to fuck off! Category:Scenes We'd Like To See